Structure them around the wants or needs of your dynamic. Tasks can be given daily, weekly, or when needed. By using tasks in this way, the submissive can submit and focus on the Dominant even when the Dom is busy. Instead of the submissive waiting around until the Dominant is available, a task can be given for the submissive to focus on when the Dominant can’t be present. They are super helpful when the Dominant is short on availability and time, but the submissive is not. Tasks can also be used when a Dominant is busy or working or on vacation. When it comes to tasks, the only limit is your imagination. Why are tasks important?Īny time the Dominant wants the submissive focusing on something, a task is a great way to implement that focus. Tasks do not need to be negotiated, but safewords should be discussed and ready to be used if needed. (unless it is given again) They are not recurring. When a task is given and completed, it doesn’t need to be continued. They should be followed, and are expected to be done, usually without prompts. What’s the difference between a rule and a task?Ī rule is something that is negotiated and given to a submissive. Whether your style is self-reporting or check-ins, always follow up and make sure the tasks are done or are progressing. Task progress or completion should always be communicated. If a task feels like “busy work,” the sub is more likely to slack on the task. The most important thing about tasks is they should have a purpose. Tasks are something given to a submissive to do or to complete. After that, once a year, unless a major life change occurs. For a new dynamic, I recommend renegotiating every three months for the first year. Even without a major change, rules should be renegotiated. Renegotiations help make sure everyone is on the same page, and expectations align. Or quite possibly it’s as simple as a rule not working like it should for a change to be made.įor any instance when a rule changes or a major life situation occurs, renegotiate. can all contribute to a need for rules to change. A new job, new family member, health complications, living arrangements, etc. Communicate, and use discipline as your means of correction, not punishment. However, if an unwritten rule is broken, don’t assume the submissive knows what the rule is. Some things are a given, like showing respect from both sides of the slash. You can’t write down everything that is expected. They also establish power exchange and set responsibilities and expectations.

Enforcing many rules at once can set the submissive up for failure and establish a feeling of discouragement from the start. Build up the rules list slowly, instead of enforcing a whole list of unfamiliar rules all at once. When giving rules in a new dynamic, I recommend giving a few at a time. Rules should be negotiated and discussed before they are carried out. Rules in BDSM are a list of expectations that, once agreed on, should be done when specified without prompting. So let’s discuss what they are and why I feel they are important.

Rules and tasks provide the framework that I crave. I feel I’m at my best when I have responsibilities and expectations to follow.

Sissy slave task